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Archive Number 3607

Date: Thu, 22 Jan 2004 20:55:43 -0500
From: Noa Baum
Subject: Re: Abusive Stories and Restorative Justice


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thank you Bobby!!!!
your "rambling" (oh so worth it!) reminded me of the extraordinary=20
work of the Roy Hart theater with the voice. I've been doing this=20
work for the last 8 years (workshops once a year, and this summer I=20
did a workshop at their center in France). the work is based on the=20
life investigations into the voice/soul/mind connection of Alfred=20
Wolfson - an Austrian Jew, who after being wounded in world war I,=20
realized that the human voice had a much larger potential than we=20
actually use. or what we call 'the beautiful voice'. (among some of=20
his experiments - he worked with soldiers that lost their vocal cords=20
and actually had them produce sounds.) he later escaped the Naztis to=20
England and there his work was later continued and expanded by his=20
student, a South African actor - Roy Hart. (if anyone wishes to learn=20
more about this check out their web site=20
http://www.roy-hart-theatre.com/)
ANYWAY - this long introduction is to say - that one of the things=20
that Alfred Wolfson said was that being human is not something we're=20
born with but something we have to become. we all have both Hitler=20
and a Jew inside us, he said, the question is what do you do with it.=20
if you don't acknowledge both forces, the perpetrator and the victim=20
give them voice, it will come out in the real world either as a=20
repressed illness or real horrific violence. Roy Hart Theater work=20
offers to give voice in a creative artistic way to all the forces=20
inside us, 'bad' included. I believe that stories carry the same=20
message. they are giving voice to those forces that are in all of us.=20
we need to embrace them as the voice, the path to show us how to=20
become human.

and yes, when my son was a few weeks old I had a murderous urge to=20
throw him out of the window. more than once. today, there are days=20
when I know he would like to do the same to me...

peace,
Noa



>I think this conversation is stimulating and fascinating. Thank you all!
>
>I'm a little behind on the list, but I read Christopher's post last night a=
nd
>had to send it on to Bobby Avstreih. He hasn't been on the list for a long
>time, but I pass on bits that I know he might have a passionate=20
>response to and
>I know he has been thinking about restorative justice and stories. Those of
>you who remember his posts know that he can respond strongly and even offen=
d
>some people. He invited me to censor or rewrite this, but I didn't. I know =
you
>all are secure enough in your own thinking and values to hear differing
>opinions, or will simply dismiss and delete what you don't wish to engage.
>
>If you want to reply directly to Bobby, his email is
>storyflute@hotmail.com
>
>In a separate post, I will also send another piece Bobby wrote on restorati=
ve
>justice.
>Gail
>
>Bobby's reply:
>
>As the non-resident Ancient Greek scholar of the group, let me add some
>
>clarification to Christopher's touching on Oedipus and his lusty cohorts.
>
>Greece is a 3-season country. The "winter" is maybe a bit warmer than
>
>London, but just as chill, damp and dreary. Imagine living in the condition=
s
>
>of 2,000 years ago, with no distractions all winter but tending goats and
>
>staring at the other members of your family for interminable hours every
>
>day. Want to have sex with a parent? Want to tear your teenager apart in a
>
>sexual frenzy, or kill your babies, or visit endless fantasies of revenge?
>
>The plays were produced to coincide with the return of spring and the
>
>outside self. It was a great community coming-out party, and the
>
>spring-cleaning was psychic as well as dusting blankets and pillows.
>
>Everyone in the audience was healthy enough to identify with the urges of
>
>the characters. They didn't need the famous poem by Thich Nhat Hahn "Call M=
e
>
>By My True Names". They were not afraid to see themselves over and over
>
>again. Their horrors didn't frighten them. Their horrors were part of what
>
>made them human beings.
>
>
>We moderns take these stories much too seriously, as we treat so much of ou=
r
>
>precious inner world. In the original days of these plays, the most
>
>delicious part is that after the tragedy was presented, and each on-looker
>
>mourned or stared in the identifying mirror of the tragedy ("the sins of th=
e
>
>fathers visited upon the sons for generations"), the plays were reframed as
>
>Satyr plays enacted by satyrs carrying 6-foot bright pink phalluses and
>
>nymphs with huge "goddess" buttocks. Imagine the famous confrontation
>
>between Oedipus and his father in the narrow pass, only instead of swords,
>
>this time they are knocking at each other with massive erections. And, can
>
>you picture how randy his mom must have acted when, sexually frustrated by
>
>her husbands absence, this lusty young stud, so very well-endowed, rides
>
>into town brandishing his scepter for all to see.
>
>
>Pity our poor modern, sensitive society. All we have left are sneaking dirt=
y
>
>jokes and the non-stop cursing of stand-up comics who are still at the
>
>"dirty word" level of 8 year old shock humor. Is this part of Christianity'=
s
>
>curse: our loss of our sense of humor about ourselves. Can we please have
>
>back the dirty, nasty old gods, or at least David and Bathsheba and Solomon
>
>and Sheba and drunken old Noah and those lying, cheating patriarchs and som=
e
>
>real human beings instead of the insufferable power-play of that
>
>control-freak, Paul?
>
>
>As long as I'm ranting, please consider some of the Native American
>
>traditions. In many special stories the abuser (father, uncle, husband,
>
>neighbor) is NOT punished, or even named publicly. The "victim" recognizes
>
>that he/she has achieved a special gift, a special connection to the natura=
l
>
>world and thus to the tribal community, because of the suffering. The
>
>"perpetrator" is seen as the instigator of the gift-receiving journey.
>
>Without the action of the "perpetrator", the "victim" would not be opened t=
o
>
>the gift. Unlike our modern thinking, there is neither "victim" nor
>
>"perpetrator". The perpetrator is merely the instigator. In this reframing
>
>'he' already loses much of his power to hurt or terrorize. I don't know if
>
>French existentialism is appropriate in understanding Native American
>
>stories, but Satre's "Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
>
>seems to fit pretty well in my mind. Maybe the theme of this discussion
>
>should be "Paths to Freedom" instead.
>
>
>Of course, the other key in looking at this from a Native American
>
>perspective, is that there is a special place in the community for the
>
>return of the one who has suffered (there is no denial of the suffering ...
>
>only of the concept of "victim"). Restoration of balance, restorative
>
>justice, provides a community place for both victim and perpetrator. Healin=
g
>
>cannot proceed without the community context. This is also true in some of
>
>our present concepts of "restorative justice".
>
>
>The more we ourselves live without a messy but integrated community of work
>
>and ritual and play, and the more our community is made up of friends we
>
>only see and touch electronically, or only on special occaisions with
>
>special appointments made to fit our financial schedules, the more
>
>"precious" and "unique" our inner worlds become, and the more powerful we
>
>imagine our common-as-mud images and hidden thoughts and bad fantasies. Our
>
>modern world of as-if intimacy is causing us to regress to the ego-centric
>
>world of young children, afraid of our bad thoughts because they may come
>
>true.
>
>
>And, if Ancient Greece is too high-falutin' for you, and Native American to=
o
>
>'sacred' to mess with, then consider the Thai national trickster Sri
>
>Thanonchai. In his opening story he neatly eviscerates and boils his baby
>
>brother so he will be neat and clean and quiet when his parents return from
>
>a day
>
>in the fields. And what can they say against him? After all, he was just
>
>following orders.
>
>
>Any parents out there want to testify to forbidden desires to throw their
>
>squalling babies out the window or in the closet? Any testimonies about
>
>"accidents" older kids suffered on their younger siblings? I know most of
>
>you women out there never really laughed or cheered at John Wayne Bobbit
>
>jokes? But how about fantasizing about remaking "Thelma and Louise" as
>
>"Dirty Harry"? Am I the only person with really bad thoughts out here?
>
>
>Victims are "good". "Innocent". Then how can you be "good" and still want t=
o
>
>shoot a rapists balls off? If you can't at least recognize in yourself the
>
>power trip of the perpetrator, how can you really help the victim do
>
>anything but split off from the experience. I certainly wouldn't believe
>
>you. I'd feel you were just trying to put on a band-aid and whisper the
>
>wound to go away. "Just kiss it and make it better" therapy. And, anyway=
,
>
>only the community can restore balance. If there is no place in the
>
>community for the wounded, then there can be no healing. That's where the
>
>focus "should" be. The ancient Greek "heroes" placed themselves outside
>
>common humanity. That is why they suffered so terribly. That is why we
>
>suffer. Not because bad things happen, but because we lack a container, a
>
>context, in which to heal.
>
>
>I find this statement particularly strange. ">I certainly agree that it is
>
>hard to hear/feel/see such outcomes as moving out from the family, or even
>
>dying as a fitting end for a tale worth telling."
>
>
>I am no more a general storytelling expert than a Native American or Thai
>
>one, but in most, if not all, of the folk tales I've read the banished
>
>daughter or rejected-as-worthless youngest son returns to claim the kingdom
>
>AFTER the old king is dead. Cordelia's return for a teary farewell
>
>reconcilliation is about as good as it gets. My father and I definitely had
>
>a very real, nurturing reconcilliation. Its just that it was the traditiona=
l
>
>form, not modern "touchy-feely" or "with eye contact". It happened
>
>separately for each of us. I didn't even know about it from his side until
>
>he had been dead for 6 months. But that does not in any way change or
>
>diminish the power of the transformations for each of us. Because it fit an=
d
>
>made sense within my family context.
>
>
>Healing, like scars, doesn't mean "pretty". Why do some of you storytellers
>
>reject story tradition in search for Chicken Soup answers? The coffin that
>
>the Grimm brothers built to contain our passionate humanity (with all its
>
>violent excess ... isn't that what passion is?) is being nailed shut by can=
s
>
>of Chicken Soup psychology. Its burying us alive.
>
>
>Wounds heal, but scars remain. In our modern society there is no place for
>
>scars. Every part of our body, inside and out, can and 'must' be made over,
>
>with titanium and botox and nutritional suppliments and tooth whiteners and
>
>endless exercise and diets and sex "how-to" articles, etc etc. Meanwhile,
>
>our popular culture in movies, biographies and fiction are filled with the
>
>most inhuman characters, from Hannibal Lechter and The Godfather to books
>
>about being raised in immigrant desperate poverty or by crazed, alcoholic
>
>and terribly abusive parents. Its as if our entertainment industry is "The
>
>Picture of Dorian Grey", Wilde's story of a man who maintained beautiful
>
>youth while his secret portrait became more and more hideous. And have you
>
>talked to any born-again fundamentalists lately. Man, are those "good"
>
>people revved-up for a "worse than the Holocaust" blood-letting. They can't
>
>wait to be saved while the rest of us burn in our "Left-Behind"
>
>hell-on-earth.
>
>I know the bad folks out there are really bad, one-on-one. But Lord save us
>
>from the folks who "know" they are good. They're the ones who will destroy
>
>the world.
>
>
>This sad societal schizophrenia colors all our thinking. Maybe the first
>
>thing we have to heal is our own connection between our good selves and ou=
r
>
>passionate selves. Yes, indeed, Christopher, here's to healing our
>
>dichotomies! (or at least whacking at them with giant bright pink phalluses
>
>once in a while.)
>
>
>Smiles,
>
>Bobby
>
>In a message dated 1/18/04 12:16:12 PM, christopher@MOVING-STORIES.COM writ=
es:
>
><< I appreciate the sense of panic as we look to find literary examples
>
>(if not examples from our lives) of people who respond "well" (with
>
>virtue?" to the harsh family stories that rain down upon them.
>
>Whether the stories rain down upon us in being enacted around us or
>
>virtually enacted as they are told to us, we hope to know "=E1 quoi
>
>bon?" - to what good? What is the sense of this suffering of trying
>
>to be faithful to family, to love ones, to those who claim us, when
>
>they have more pain than they know how to handle alone?
>
>
>I have an odd alternative.
>
>What if we weren't trying to "win" at life?
>
>What if we weren't searching for examples of lemonade made out of the
>
>lemons - positive tasty products that prove that the dark, the
>
>painful, the abusive can be transformed by our creative efforts into
>
>something opposite - light, pleasant, correctly or well-used. What
>
>then?
>
>
>I certainly agree that it is hard to hear/feel/see such outcomes as
>
>moving out from the family, or even dying as a fitting end for a tale
>
>worth telling. Aristotle wrestled mightily with that question in his
>
>Poetics as he could see without a doubt that his community gained
>
>something powerful and perhaps even necessary, VITAL (that's a
>
>curious word in consider stories that end in death) from
>
>seeing/undergoing tragedy. That empathically undergoing the fate of
>
>Oedipus led to catharsis - a vital movement of the soul that gave it
>
>paradoxically more life! Think of the Oedipus Trilogy or the
>
>Orestia, or the Shakespearean tragedies. Not English literature
>
>majors but the entire community of the polis, the general public,
>
>thronged to hear such tragedies told again and again.
>
>
>I guess I speak up here to remind us that audiences haven't always
>
>demanded to have "postive outcomes" to justify the worth of
>
>undergoing difficult stories. There is something beyond the rational
>
>mind that I trust finds meaning and value in such stories. "Though
>
>lovers be lost, Love shall not" says Dylan Thomas, "And death shall
>
>have no dominion."
>
>
>Christopher Maier
>
>
>Afterthoughts: And certainly I am not suggesting that it is "better"
>
>- more virtuous to stay than to leave if one is feeling abused by
>
>certain tellings of tales. By all means leave if one must. Perhaps
>
>I am hoping to split the apparent dichotomy of the two choices that
>
>we gravitate towards seeing as the only choices: either be abused by
>
>the harsh stories or else make "good" use of them.
>
>
>The leap of faith is a letting go, letting life happen, sitting in
>
>the fire itself. That's one time that miracles happen. And miracles
>
>cannot be coerced to happen! >>
>
>
>
>Gail Rosen, storyteller
>410-486-3551
>721 Howard Rd.
>Pikesville MD 21208
>NEW website: www.GailRosen.com
>Check out the Healing Story Alliance website: www.HealingStory.org
>Burnout prevention workshops for hospice: www.HealThy-Self.net
>
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Noa Baum
13 Devon Road
Silver Spring, MD 20910
(301) 587-3558
cell: (703) 244-1938
http://www.noabaum.com
noabaum@earthlink.net

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