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Archive Number 3580

Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2004 14:07:37 -0500
From: Laura Simms
Subject: Re: Abusive Stories


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more thoughts .....

for several years i told a particular story from which I could not
disengage from my own beshadowed hidden feelings. Each time I told
it, almost driven to tell it, I felt that there was something wrong in
the telling.When it was over there was a thick feeling of gluey
discomfort for myself and the audience. For a long time I did not
tell it at all -It took me years to recognize that I was stuck
somewhere myself and the retelling grabbed me unaware and engaged me in
this territory like a dirt storm. I was therefore unable to be the
storyteller telling a whole story, but I was captured in an emotional
state of the story and character and could not let it go. Having let
it go at some point, I saw the story differently and also was able
finally to tell it for my audience to live through the entire process
rather than making it my story and suddenly engaging them in my own
unprocessed pain.

It reminds me of the man who once came to me after the death of his
wife. Her death was tragic and somewhat the result of a series of
things that had happened which he had no chance to apologize for. His
telling was purely an attempt to extricate himself from unbearable pain
and my own inability at the time to listen without taking his pain. I
have learned so much about the state of mind of the teller and the
listener since then.. My deep responsibilty to create the right
atmosphere of listening and prepare my listeners. The sound of my voice
and the intention of the telling with presence and detachment without
losing myself in the story, or abstracting myself out of the event.
How to dive under the images and see the whole process of the story ..
And how to listen to those who can not help but attempt to release
themselves from pain by trying to give it away... unknowing that they
are doing this and also unknowing that they are attached to the reliving
and reinstigating with ever more fixation on the pain, rather than
gaining any awareness or self love, or understanding.

I am awe struck with what I still need to learn about all of this.

Laura

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