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Archive Number 3577 | ||
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Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2004 10:29:14 EST
MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable In a message dated 1/17/2004 12:46:51 PM Central Standard Time,=20 Beagle150@AOL.COM writes: > An individual within a family unit: >=20 > Say you have an individual who comes to you and tells you their story - - > that they are repeatedly told stories from within their family unit for=20 > which > they can do nothing but witness and listen. The tales from their mother, > father, brothers and sisters are personal stories about thier addictions,=20 > family > abuse of all kinds, stories of many and supposedly repeated poor choice=20 > making, > gossip about family members, etc. Painful stories are fair game all the=20 > time. > As time goes on the person doesn't trust family members because their > stories are inconsistent, full of gossip and lies and unhealthy behavior.=20= =20 > Still > the person doesn't disconnect but listens. The stories continue for decad= es=20 > and > now include children and young grandchildren. The individual feels deep > sadness and desires to be compassionate - - yet, clearly desires to be out= =20 > of the > group. >=20 >=20 when stories are used in this form I distance myself. My husband's family i= s=20 a large one--my mother-in-law was one of 15 children and many of them have 1= 5=20 or more. I am from a small family so it was an interesting experience when=20= I=20 moved to Costa Rica and found that my husband's warnings were real.....we=20 distanced ourselves from the negative and also chose who we "broke bread" w= ith=20 in the family. When Abuela died there was a mini-civil war and now that=20 Abuelo and my mother-in-law have passed on there is another mini-civil war w= ith my=20 husband as the scape goat..........we are in Illinois now and I find some of= t he "stories" laughable.......Distance yourself from this form of story----it= 's=20 not what storytelling is about----it's just gossip. Marcia Guti=E9rrez Elgin, IL ------------------------------- To Unsubscribe from Healingstory send the message: unsubscribe healingstory to: listserv@maelstrom.stjohns.edu ------------------------------- | ||