Previous Message Return to Archive 2004 Next Message

Archive Number 3576

Date: Sat, 17 Jan 2004 14:40:51 EST
From: Telanyost2@AOL.COM
Subject: Re: Abusive Stories - More Explanation


MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Sorry to have missed your point, Mary. Wow! You're describing many people I
work with. It is a dilemma, because the choices seem so stark: separation
from kith and kin or continued exposure to the battering of the same old
stories, family myths, replete with trauma, scapegoats and scandal. It's hard to
know what's worse, the constant immersion in it or the delight of so many in the
lurid retellings. Family systems can become so poisoned.
The people I know who have most successfully survived such systems did
need to separate themselves from the group for a period of time, usually two or
more years ... sometimes up to ten, very rarely, but occasionally, entirely.
Therapy helps the individual come up with a clearer sense of her or his own
true story. Maintaining a grounded center while still in the midst of the
swirling chaotic storytelling can be done, but usually only if the person has a
consistent and dependable support network.
There must be stories out there for these kinds of survivors. I'm
thinking of Cordelia in King Lear.... 'her voice was ever soft and gentle' Although
she might not be the best example considering the outcome there! Oh yes, and
then there's Ophelia! Good grief. Help! There must be pillars of strength
in the midst of mythic familial chaos: How about Sister in Eudora Welty's Why
I live at the P.O. Then again, she, too moved out! Hmmm.
Good question, Mary. Ann

-------------------------------
To Unsubscribe from Healingstory send the message: unsubscribe healingstory
to: listserv@maelstrom.stjohns.edu
-------------------------------