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Archive Number 3575

Date: Sat, 17 Jan 2004 13:45:40 EST
From: Mary Clark
Subject: Abusive Stories - More Explanation


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I'm thinking I missed my point in my original message - the limits of email!
I am not talking about professionals or groups of tellers gathering to tell
stories. Let me sight an example, which is a composite of a couple of folks I
have encountered which leads me to ask this question:

An individual within a family unit:

Say you have an individual who comes to you and tells you their story - -
that they are repeatedly told stories from within their family unit for which
they can do nothing but witness and listen. The tales from their mother,
father, brothers and sisters are personal stories about thier addictions, family
abuse of all kinds, stories of many and supposedly repeated poor choice making,
gossip about family members, etc. Painful stories are fair game all the time.
As time goes on the person doesn't trust family members because their
stories are inconsistent, full of gossip and lies and unhealthy behavior. Still
the person doesn't disconnect but listens. The stories continue for decades and
now include children and young grandchildren. The individual feels deep
sadness and desires to be compassionate - - yet, clearly desires to be out of the
group.

Original message follows:

Stories abound in everyone's life. We live our stories and often share our
tales Some share very painful stories in extremely negative ways seemingly
without any awareness that their stories might have an impact on others.

Stories used in this way can be very abusive - I'd say a form of emotional
abuse. These traumatic, negative, malicious stories. . . can be like bullets
to
the individual, the witness, whether it be a child, an adult, an
organization, group or community.

Does anyone have any experience with this topic?

- Mary

*****
Mary K. Clark
Exploring Stories ~ Weaving Tales

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