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Archive Number 3550

Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2004 15:16:15 -0500
From: Laura Simms
Subject: Re: Healing Story Question


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Dear David et al,

I don't think there is a simple answer for anyone about whether they
should tell a particular personal story that is traumatic, or not.
although, at some point one has to be able to tell it to oneself.

In my own experience working with ex child soldiers from Africa, there
were times when the telling of the story was actually just a litany of
details and was not a story at all, so the teller was not liberated or
informed by their own story. Sometimes accidentally the quality of the
listener was so profound that the teller came alive during the telling
somehow connecting to feeling and appreciating/trusting being seen.
On the other hand, I have heard the actual felt acknowledged story told
without guilt and without fixation by other kids and in that telling
the young person experienced some way to go on, go forward, reimagine
their life and even make something medicinal out of what they learned
and could apply.

There were kids who were coming to the US and in the end, I helped them
not to tell their stories when they were younger since those that heard
would only see them as soldiers rather than as human beings. they needed
to activate their ability to feel and dream and relate as normal human
beings first. Now they are older, and they can tell those very personal
stories without shame.

some spices for the soup...

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