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Archive Number 3543

Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2004 11:22:39 EST
From: Marcia Gutiérrez
Subject: Re: Healing Story Question


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In a message dated 1/13/2004 3:17:59 AM Central Standard Time,=20
david@VSWEBS.COM writes:

> Some folks keep hidden their tales of abuse. Some folks keep secret
> their story about overcoming. Some stories give strength to a person
> while other hurt or destroy their self esteem, yes. So I'm wondering why
> people keep stories, or more so, how stories effect them - positive or
> negative.
>=20

The positive stories keep me going. They help me cope with the pressures tha=
t=20
life has set upon me. In return I have a more positive or rather healthy an=
d=20
happy outlook and this in returns helps those close to me that are also goin=
g=20
thru the pressures of life. I have a brother and 2 friends with mental=20
diseases.......on a social level I can do nothing for them, on a spiritual a=
nd=20
storytelling level, I can. I can listen. One friend writes to me, she has=20=
to=20
reread 20 years of letters to remember me, but she does and than sends me=20
letters, photos, etc., about herself. She tells me her story. For my broth=
er I=20
listen and he tells me the stories that he is reading. For my other friend,=
we=20
e-mail. It helps him for his class and he has someone he can tell his story=
to.=20
I go to my favorite stories, they are my friends that help me not feel so=20
sad about just how hard life can hit. To be a storyteller we are also=20
listeners.

The negative stories I keep mostly to myself. At first I did share some but=
=20
people don't want to hear these stories---they don't want to believe. It is=
=20
in the way of telling that matters and something too personal can get in the=
=20
way of the correct telling of the story. So when a negative or difficult tal=
e is=20
to be told I need to first but distance between it and me so that I can now=20
give it the quality that it needs. This goes for non-personal tales too tha=
t=20
can have a personal effect on the teller. As for healing, sometimes just=20
letting it go and not telling is the healing. Why relive over and over agai=
n a=20
traumatic event? My mother-in-law did this and could never let it go. We c=
an=20
over saturate in story.

And than sometimes a story I have can be told so much better by someone else=
=20
and so I let that story go and grow thru another's voice.

Ah I feel so much better now,
Marcia Guti=E9rrez

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