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Archive Number 2503 | ||
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Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2003 09:25:11 EST
In a message dated 1/17/2003 11:30:15 AM Eastern Standard Time, andreh@USFAMILY.NET writes: >>> Mary the idea of suspending judgment to listen and to hear is a value and > a > judgment based on a value that we need to hear what the other person is > really saying. This is a noble endevour and in my judgment a value worthy > of > practicing but none the less my choice to do so is a judgment call I see choice as being something different from judgment. We can pass judgment on a choice and choose to judge, so they can't be the same thing. Now, I'm not saying this is correct, but it is my opinion and I also don't know what started this thread so it may be out of context. Regardless, I believe that we do tend toward judgment on the whole but it is our choice whether or not to use that judgment against a situation. We can choose rather to put aside the judgment. This comes from my work with at-risk teens. If I don't put aside my judgments, part of me is closed to them. The teens need me to be open. They have enough closed adults in their lives. And I can't expect them to voice their true thoughts and emotions, and be honest about the way they feel about a story if every time they do I pass judgment. I can sit there and say in my head, what a stupid thing to say. But I can also put the thought away and let it go. Perhaps it is different if you are in a group as a psychologist or there as a storyteller. The roles we play in each situation can determine how we react. As a storyteller working with teens who need as much as these do, I am offering the gift of a story. Is it right to offer these gifts with strings (judgment) attached? It's precisely because there are no strings that the kids I work with feel they have experienced something truly significant for them. I've seen them hold a simple stone in their hands and ask if they can keep it. They just aren't used to people giving things to them without expectation or judgment. Sorry to go on when I'm not even sure where the discussion was going but you touched a soft spot in me. Lorna | ||