Previous Message Return to Archive 2002 Next Message

Archive Number 2489

Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 08:07:03 -0700
From: Bobby Avstreih
Subject: wasted





Andre
This is really thought-provoking for me. You see, when I commented on your
use of the word "wasted" in your poem about John, I was trying to share
perspectives I had learned in cultures that were OTHER than my original
culture. After living and working within the 3 cultures I mentioned (blues
musicians, AA friends, and "economically challenged" African-American) and
being "initiated" into two of them , I had been taught how to develop OTHER
images/interpretations. I had really just wanted to share these perspectives
with you, not to judge or criticize YOU! Sometimes on this list I have felt
very much akin to you, and so I was excited to share my "new" learning.

But that's the way language is: it was so difficult to talk about "passing
judgement on another" without sounding like I was doing just that!! I know
if I were conducting a mediation session (or a meditation session)I would
have been much more careful of the words I chose and not have spoken my
phrases so casually. But holding that perspective in communication means
shifting to another part of my brain, a different way of thinking and using
language, and I don't choose to go there consciously enough.

And then words keep changing their meanings, like during our discussion a
while ago of "samurai". In reality, these guys were Sadam's "Palace Guards"
and Hitler's "Storm Troopers", with as much nobility in war as Sherman's
march through Georgia.
But now "samurai" is a noble example of
higher-consciousness-self-control-in-action. Mark my words, within 100 years
"The Code of the Mafia" will be the new empowerment-to-action pathway, and
the "steely-nerved, ultra-focused, totally dedicated" Storm Trooper will
combine the worst aspects of Goth with Skinhead to take the "Pimp Slap D'
Ho'" (referring to the rap hit to "Pimp-Slap", ie. beat-up, the Whore)
attitude to a whole 'nother level of counter-culture malaise.

And then, there is the complete non-existence of certain words or phrases
in, at least, my own particular mix of Caucasian-American,
socialist-Russian and Reformed Jewish,
rising-up-from-farmers-to-machinists-to-lawyer-and-doctor-into-the-midle-class
culture. (see how hard it is, and potentially boring, to communicate
carefully)

I've tried to raise this idea on this List when talking about going BEYOND
the "Hero" in our stories. We have ONE word for "warrior", but have to
cobble TWO separate words together to come up with "peace-maker", and
"mediator" is OK to describe someone who works towards conflict resolution,
but we also try to squeeze "reconciliation" and "restorative justice" under
that umbrella, and they're not the same. And what about "community-builder"?
Now, there's a concept word that needs to be developed. We have SO MANY
words for war and the processes of controlling others (like the category of
public safety: "police", "cops", "narcs", etc.) but no words for
"community-builders", which is the only way to really be safe.

So, Andre, with our languages so limited by culture, experience and a lack
of choice words, how DO we communicate successfully? A year ago the List
briefly discussed the college study (Princeton? Cornel?) that concluded
communication was predominantly vocal rhythm-tone and body-language, and
that words themselves are a very small part of successful communication.

I did not intend to criticize you. Life, to me, is like a great jewell or a
giant kaleidoscope (though this is NOT in any way meant to imply that "life
is beautiful" or "radiant" or, even, very "good"!), and a big part of the
fun is calling out to each other, "Hey, come see what it looks like from
over here! Look what I see through this facet of existence."
As a musician who plays alot with my eyes closed, some of my favorite times
are talking with visual artists or highly skilled mechanics, because they
interpret the world through different portals, they "see" through such
different facets of the kaleidoscope. Its like the old tale of "The Blind
Men and the Elephant". While the Blind Men in the story handled their
situation in a non-productive manner, the "inner truth" of this story, the
reason it is a "teaching" story, is that it is not enough for us to
recognize and laugh at or criticize "their blindness". We're all live in the
same village. So it "feels like a snake" to me. It "feels like a tree stump"
to you. There are so many ways to express grief: from rage to drunken
laughter to silent tears to thoughtful sighs.

Civilization is still at its early childhood stage. We are just learning
that we have to share this sandbox we all live on, and we haven't mastered
the concept, yet. We're still not sure we like the idea, and haven't yet
integrated the "tools" to do it. But hey, since this letter is about sharing
perspectives,if that's the stage we're at, then at least we can enjoy "I'll
show you mine if you'll show me your's".

Fondly, Bobby




_________________________________________________________________
MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE*
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus