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Archive Number 2427

Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003 12:03:30 -0500
From: Laura Simms
Subject: Re: getting rid of personal history







Laura Simms wrote:

> Friends,
>
> I had an interesting experience yesterday afternoon. I work with a
> young man from Africa who had both arms amputated during a civil war.
> He is going to school not far from my house. I raise money for his
> family (three children still in Africa, his parents were murdered in
> front of them all by rebels not much older than them), and have helped
> him to receive a voice activated computer. I pick him up from school
> sometimes and take him to dinner before he makes his two hour trip back
> home from Manhatten. He uses two pronged prosthetics for hands. He
> is very kind, and a fiercely hard working survivor. He believes in love
> and education. I am completely smitten with him and also often have a
> really hard time talking to him.
>
> An eleven year old girl who had one leg amputated and is part of the
> group of kids that are here together was taken to a family for adoption.
> She was returned after five days because she kept threatening the new
> mother with violence. I inquired if anyone was helping the girl. "Has
> she spoken to anyone about her behaviour. She must really need personal
> help," I said. My young friend responded to me with defiance and
> definiteness, "She doesn't need therapy. She has to learn to behave. If
> she is not kind, no one will like her, period." He would not talk about
> it. It is not just America. the whole fabric of tribal trust and
> expanded families and communications has fallen apart from the war.
> These kids are the lucky ones to be here. Are they? they have a house
> and food. But they are torn out of their culture as well. they can not
> afford therapy, but would probably never do it without a lot of urging.
>
> I met the girl once. She was not friendly. But when I sat down to tell
> stories, which is what they hunger for me to do when I visit the house,
> she sat transfixed.
> She wanted fairytales about princesses who overcome great obstacles but
> are beautiful and powerful and fall in love. I had to pull out every
> tale I could think of and remake incidents and add incidents to lengthen
> them. this seemed to work. But she would not talk about what happened.
> Because no one in that household can consider reliving the trauma or
> talking it over as anything other than weakness. This is survivor
> mentality. but it seems to come from dislocation and mistrust, the loss
> of traditional structures of family and community. Isn't that the
> situation that most americans find themselves in.. our structures of
> communciation are so often based on commerce, jobs, families without
> real community. My family were second generation immigrants removed from
> their roots, huanted by holocaust and pogrom memories that came from
> their homelands.
>
> Andre's note made me think about these kids and my conversation. I felt
> like I could not say what I felt to the boy with no hands. or the girl
> with one leg. It made me think about my grandmother who never
> mentioned her childhood in Poland. Or my other grandmother who left not
> tales of her city in romania. My life has been about telling stories,
> understanding the need for stories, leaping through the fire of burning
> away a heritage of attachment to stories of victims, outsiders, etc..
> and learning about how stories mean and benefit. It has been quite a
> long journey that is not over. The process included my coming to
> recognize the mythic dimensions of my own story as myth, and
> acknowledging the raw emotion within my own more hidden tales, and then
> learning about detachment without suppression.
> It also taught me about my responsibility as a storyteller and that even
> my personal story was no longere just about me when it was heard by
> another.
>
> Wim Wenders once said very profoundly, "All stories are lies. But we can
> not live without them.'
>
> Laura