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Archive Number 2424 | ||
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Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003 14:51:52 +1100
Well said again Christopher. I could nearly have written your first paragraph myself. In fact I started a response and then saved it in my drafts. You said: "I have known those who have > made valiant efforts for decades to dismiss what they were told is > "done" but which clearly wasn't since it's truth had never been > acknowledged let alone integrated and transcended. " The supposed "wallower" is in fact someone who is reaching out for a witness and a mirror precisely in order to receive acknowledgement under circumstances where no mirror exists and ultimately to allow integration and trancendence to take place. My saved draft: I have to agree with Lynn. "Wallow" is a word of judgement on the speaker that describes the impatience and discomfort of the listener. Also, people come to therapy with their pain and sorrow, anxiety and heavy hearts. They don't come to therapy to talk about how great their life is going for them or to give balanced time to the joys as well as the pain for the therapist's benefit and comfort. The time should be used to delve into the difficult areas until they are resolved and as Lynn said, at one's own pace. Holly ----- Original Message ----- From: "Christopher Maier" To: Sent: Friday, January 03, 2003 2:10 PM Subject: [HEALINGSTORY] "Getting Rid of Personal History" > Truly there are volumes that could be written in response to the > issues raised to the quote of the week that Mary Clark brought to our > attention. I was going to let the whole discussion go by without > adding anything, but upon going to delete the original quote I just > can't let it go without a response to at least one small part - > > At 2:04 PM -0500 12/30/02, Mary K. Clark quoted Wayne Dwyer who wrote: > >The second factor that keeps us producing those > >unwanted problems is our love of wallowing around > >in the dramas of our past, and using our inner > >energy to remind ourselves (and anyone who will listen) > >of all that transpired in our stories that created > >the problems we experience today. No one said > >it better or more succinctly than Shakespeare > >when he reminded us, "What's done is done." > > No, it is not love of wallowing (I find that insulting, and if one > were to take that attitude to a person in pain would block any chance > of a healing relationship forming). It is desire to find meaning in > what is painful. I can't agree with Mr. Dwyer's assessment of human > nature as masochistic. True we can get stuck in stories - but > stuckness is not "love of wallowing". I have known those who have > made valiant efforts for decades to dismiss what they were told is > "done" but which clearly wasn't since it's truth had never been > acknowledged let alone integrated and transcended. It is a call for > help EVEN when there is also all sorts of defensiveness against the > call to change that it might take to receive the help. > > Yes, I do agree that it is when stories of our past dramas serve as > explanations or justifications that keeps them stuck. But no, what's > done (in this case) is not done, otherwise these past dramas wouldn't > haunt us. They are like ghosts, and vampires which all of us who > have tried to find the truth in such tales know rests on > incompleteness, irresolution - what was begun to be done was never > completely done. Repeat it until you complete it! > > Christopher > -- > > Moving Stories - Stories Created, Discovered & Told > > Christopher@Moving-Stories.com - web:www.moving-stories.com > > (303) 477-7833 / P.O. Box 40032, Denver, CO 80204-0032 > > > To Unsubscribe from Healingstory send the message: unsubscribe healingstory > > > | ||