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Archive Number 1051

Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2002 10:56:37 -0500
From: Fran Yardley
Subject: Re: story request





Dear Elisa,
I loved hearing from you. I had hoped to make this a lengthy thoughtful
answer to your question, but time has escaped somehow and I need to leave
soon for a week long trip. So here is the short answer to how I got to
this moment of starting a bereavement group. I live in a very small town.
Actually I live 11 miles away from it, but it is my home base. I have lived
here 33 years and know a lot of people. Many of them are aware of the
trauma I went through of caring for my husband for 6 1/2 years and then
dealing with his death. I have a good friend who is a psychiatrist in town
and she called to ask if I would be willing to start a bereavement group.
It is shockingly sad how many young people are suddenly widowed. She has
been working with a woman whose husband died suddenly and who is looking
for support. When I started tentatively mentioning to friends that I was
starting this group, the next thing I knew another friend called to ask if
she could be in it. So then there were two. I just basically decided I
would do this, set up the schedule, found a space and it is going to happen
if I get over 4 people. I have no doubt I will. Working with the local
funeral home director has been very helpful.
This is a discombobulated report but that's where my mind is right now. I
love that you are narrowing your focus and becoming aware of your magnet.
As I look back, I realize that practically from the day Jay was diagnosed,
I started moving in this direction...getting involved with storytelling,
finding the story about the wilderness healing a TB patient, getting
connected through that story with Hospice, beginning to do workshops about
loss and empowerment, getting involved with HSA- all this has led to this
moment and who knows where this moment will lead to? I must say that your
beautiful stories in Doorways to the Soul have been so helpful as have the
stories on the HSA Forum. When my demons come out, they say that I haven't
the training for this. I am not a therapist. But I am a storyteller who
believes utterly in the extraordinary power of stories to heal and I will
be very clear about that with this group. I also believe in their innate
brilliance to find the place and time for them to get heard. And I DO have
training for this. I have been in the trenches.
I would love to continue this conversation with you as you seek your path.
Also to open this up to others who have demons about not being trained. Has
that held you back? Have you gotten into situations you felt you couldn't
handle? I'll be gone til Feb 18 but after that....
Oh! It is the HSA Newsletter I am editing, not the Journal! That lovely
publication is in the very capable hands and arms of Allison Cox!
All my best, Fran Y.



At 02:56 PM 2/10/02 -0500, you wrote:
>Dear Fran,
> Hi. I hope you are well. I was interested to hear that you will be
>facilitating your first bereavement group with a focus on the healing power
>of stories.
>As I attempt to narrow down my focus as a storyteller/counselor I find that
>I am most drawn to work with issues around grief and trauma. I am going to
>be heading out into the world soon from this cozy but very frustrating
>cocoon of a hospital ward and I want to work in these areas. Would you mind
>terribly telling me how you came to such a position? I am not the greatest
>at getting myself out there, but clearly this is what i need to do. Being
>able to imagine someone else's path is helpful. Thanks and thanks also for
>taking over the editing of the HSA journal. What large arms you have!
>Fondly, Elisa P.
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: Fran Yardley
>To:
>Sent: Friday, February 08, 2002 2:28 PM
>Subject: Re: [HEALINGSTORY] story request
>
>
>