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Archive Number 1041

Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2002 06:08:34 -0800
From: BZ Smith
Subject: Re: story request






I've been deeply moved by responses to the request for memorial stories.
For the rest of us reading these replies, we've had the opportunity to be
renewed, strengthened at a time of deep loss for one of our own listserv
members. In the course of this, I find myself given the chance to peel away
one more layer on that "onion" of grief. Another's loss gives me the gift of
deeper healing and understanding of my own losses.
I've been fortunate to be a part of an on-going group (6 women & a
facilitator) who are committed to personal growth work. Three years ago we
focused on preparing for our own deaths, putting our "houses" in order.
Using the works of Stephen Lavine in "A Year to Live" and the "Tibetan Book
of the Dead" we spent a year doing the work of death preparation. We also
tapped into resources provided by our local Hospice. It was intense,
emotional, EMPOWERING and practical work--the effects of which echo in the
years since. All of us range in age from 42-55. We've all agreed that this
work was timely as many of our parents are approaching death, and some of us
have lost close family & friends.We lean on our death & dying work, finding
comfort, strength and tools for LIVING.
During the days and weeks that immediately followed Sept. 11th, I was
able to work with local school children and families who were coping with
the scope of that immense loss. Then, recently a boy in my 2nd grade class
lost his dad in a tragic accident. Both the kids & I had tears & talks about
this tragedy. The discussions at HealingStory & the HSA website have been
so helpful.
A few years ago I had the honor of telling stories for the memorial
service
of a child who died in an accident. I told a story that I had learned many
years prior about how the first pine tree and the seven sisters
constellation came to be. I "re-tooled" the story a bit to bring greater
comfort to this specific family.
Here's a thought I pose for discussion:
As a folklorist, I question the "ethic" of changing traditional stories,
trying to stay close to the integrity of my sources. But, what about when
we use stories for healing?
My view: As a storyteller/healer I think sometimes we need to adapt
stories to touch closer to the immediacy of the moment. (As the alchemist
carefully blends potions to create gold, so the teller carefully blends
words.) If our intention at difficult times is to comfort & give insight,
then we tellers must use our intuitions & craft, choosing words that will
reach those in need. So. what do you all think? Are we able to change our
stories to fit the moment? If so, do you use guidelines for these changes?

It's been a while since I've piped up here at "HealingStory," so please
indulge me & my ramblings.--
B.Z. Smith of the Story Quilters.
www.mismaluna.com/storyquilters.htm